Enneagram Type Five (the Investigator)
with
Enneagram Type Five (the Investigator)
What Each Type Brings to the Relationship
As with all double-type relationships, two Enneagram Fives generally bring the same qualities to each other. Therein lies both a main source of the attraction as well as one of the main pitfalls. Thus, the Level of health of each person is especially important for these types of relationships as are their dominant instincts. To a Five, another Five is virtually his or her idea of the perfect companion: well informed, intellectually stimulating, independent, imaginative, quiet (unless it's about subjects of mutual interest), fact oriented (as opposed to being utterly emotional and subjective), non-intrusive, and always ready for a good debate or a good movie. Since they do not wish to be controlled in any way, or even for people to know too much about them, Fives give a great deal of personal and emotional space to each other. It may be weeks or even months before they both see the insides of each other's homes. They value tactfulness and would never knowingly put people on the spot for personal information or make personal demands on anyone for favors. Distance, respect, courtesy, good boundaries, few demands (and no expectations), are hallmarks of a double Five pairing. Of course, Fives can be curious about each other and their private lives, but there is a great deal of reticence to take the initiative where personal matters are at stake.
Some Fives are more forward socially but their experience is somewhat like the mating of shy and prickly animals: unless the other finds a way to hold on to the Five, the Five is soon off again. Two Fives, as a pair, they must learn quickly how to balance the independence they require with the degree of intimacy and personal sharing and self-disclosure required to establish a meaningful relationship. In most cases, this takes a while, although once Fives have found someone with whom they feel comfortable, they can become quickly (but still secretly) attached. Long silences and breaks are punctuated by intense bursts of communication. The meeting of minds does not have to be full of words.
Potential Trouble Spots or Issues
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